Still In Love With You

Things in life just never cease to amaze me. Kids are always at the front of what we do in life. We are always trying to teach and instruct them in the ways of life. Girls, sometimes I feel like I have done as much as possible to give you a direction to follow. I have made sure you see that ultimately the choice is yours to make. One time I will hear from one and then not the other. Then it will be just the opposite. I think of the Bible story of the prodigal son. I have daughters and though I've never been without them, I have spent the last year without either of them under the same roof with me. One for nearly 4 years and the last one for over a year. Each for a different reason, but gone just the same. I welcome the day that I can slaughter a fatted calf and have big party to celebrate them being home. A dads heart for his daughters is the most fragile thing in the world. The big tough protector of the family, the head lion in his pride. No one can touch them, no one can bring them harm. His own death is the only way to them. But when the day is over, it is the daughters themselves who own him. They hold his heart in their hands. Their love for him is what makes his heart beat. His legacy will live on through them. Their life a testimony of the love they have been shown. There is no one who has or ever will love you as much as I do. I hope that one day you can see that and that all the those long boring talks about life sink in and are passed on to your own kids. It saddens my heart to not see you every day. A dads heart, fragile and exposed but strong enough to be vulnerable for examination. There you find love so deep it cannot be measured. Daddy's girls. They are daddy's girls til the day he dies. Age is of no concern when that phrase is used. I love you both so much.  TTP

Birthday

It was her birthday on Monday, the youngest that is. Looking forward to a visit from all the family, especially the oldest daughter.  I got a hug and a how are you. Tension is stressed to say the least. I really miss her. I just keep hoping she will find her way to see that all the things I've been doing is for her best interest. I love her so much. I need her to make better choices for herself. She has this idea that just because you were friends with someone, that it means your friends to the end. The end is when they lead you down the wrong road and care about you anymore. J you have to find yourself and begin leading your own life. This has to be about you right now until you get back to a better place and solid ground for your feet. I love you sweet heart. Dad

A New Day

So the world didn't end on May 21st. It made some people think though. It made me think too, about the job I'm doing in leading you both to a life in Christ. I'm failing to some degree. I not sure of myself when I talk to you about it all. It's funny how when you talk to strangers or friends, it's a lot easier than talking to your family. It just shouldn't be that way. I hope that I have not and am not letting you down. I pray daily for the wisdom to give to you to help you find your way. It is your journey to make and that is the realization I have finally come to. I can't make you do or be something you're not. It is killing me to know that I really have no control in the matter. It's just the nature of a dad to be the protector and leader of his family. Even one as dysfunctional as ours sometimes seems to be. There is no greater love than a parent for their children. Hence the reason God sent His son to die for His other children. I've always told you both that there is no one who loves you more than me. That's not true. God does, and that's where I have learned to move out of the way and let Him work in your life. I will continue to do the best I can and to try and live as an example of love for Him and you. TTP

To J

Sweet heart you have no idea what you mean to me. You have a long road ahead of you and a dad who loves you to go the distance with you. You know all the things we have talked about over the years. You know what needs to done. You've heard all my dumb speeches. I am so looking forward to all the things ahead of you. They will be your greatest accomplishments of all. There is no looking back at what's behind because when you do you lose sight of what's ahead of you. Fear is the devil's tool against us, and I've never seen you be scared really. So now is not the time to let it in the door. Life happens in a blink. It's time you start living yours and not the one you've made up so far. That's not you. I miss my little "pete". I'm ready for older more grown up "pete". I love you TTP

BB-9

It's the last game. Your coach won't be there next year. Don't hold back. Baby girl play like it's the last game you ever get to play. Have so much fun and try out stuff for next year. You've got the talent to be the greatest player Tulia has ever seen. Let 'em see it today. Have a blast babe. And text me when it's over. I love you. TTP 

BB-8

There is no room for the game to be in your head.  You have to play it on the court. Just play to be playing. Have fun doing it and make some mistakes and make some fun. It's ok if it doesn't go in every time, if you turn it over it's just a game. It becomes more than a game when you just play. Think about making that behind the back move or that big three. Make up a new way to steal from a sorry player from the other team. Just have fun and you'll have the best game ever. I love you babe. TTP 

BB-7

Ok. Here's the deal. Only you have the power to make your game what you want it to be. No one controls the moves you make. You can no longer hold back on the way you play this game. It is up to you be the best you can be. You have to decide that this is the day you're gonna make that difference that you can make in your team an in this game. I love you and am so proud of you. Can't wait to see you. TTP. 

BB-6

You've proven yourself to everyone now. Now you've proven it to yourself. There is no reason left to not play at your very best. The most important thing to that is also play it for the fun of it. Play like you'll never play again. Make this game the best one so far. No distractions. No excuses. Back the back one time this game. Set your goals ad go for it. If they die, they die. I love you babe. Play hard. Let me know how it goes. TTP 

BB-5

Today you have put all things out of your head. The only thing that needs to be there is today's game. Not the crap from the coach, team, or even Bailey's Pa. Just think about this game and what yo have to do. All the other stuff can wait til the game is over. Put the game in your head and play it. You are the best. Lead them don't be afraid. I love you TTP 

BB-4

Get out of your head. Play with you heart. You have the skills it takes to be the best. Do all you can when you can and leave nothing on the bench. All your heart. All your pain. All your fear. All your anger. All your love. Everything goes into this.  If it doesn't; why are you playing. Do it cause you can. I love you. TTP

BB-3

You know what to do. You worked your butt off. Don't let that go to waste. You are that good.  Do not let any one hold you back from being the best you can be. Play your game for me tonight. TTP

BB-2

After being at Trents funeral I learned something. Make it a memory. Play the best you can and make it memorable. Don't forget how good you played this game. Play everyone with a purpose. I love you. TTP

BB-1

So when the game starts is your head already in it or is it having catch up? When your on the bench catching your breath and refreshing, are you still in the game? For you to play the game at your best, you have to be "in" the game. Always in the game. Never letting it end, in your mind or in your heart. You are the game. I'm coming to see the best game ever. I love you. TTP

To Jordyn and Ashley - The Beginning

A start to a journey I have decided to embark on to try and leave something of myself to two of the most wonderful girls in the world. It's not without trials and heartache, but its not so bad when looked upon from the big picture scope. The intent is to journal my thoughts and ideas of my girls life that they can peek in on when they want to. To get those words of wisdom from their dad without having to really say they want to know. I hope that one day they will look at this and see it's my heart and love for them being poured out for them to know how much I really love them. The first set of blogs will be some texts I wrote to Ashley for her basketball game pep talks. I love you girls very much. TTP